Former Texas banker reveals ALL about swinging lifestyle

A former banker who enjoys swinging with her husband has revealed everything you wanted to know about the swingers' lifestyle in an explosive tell-all book.

Jackie Melfi and her husband John - both 53 from Texas - engage in sex with other people (both men and women), go to swingers clubs and even go on threesome holidays with their sexual partners. 

The grandmother-of-seven met current partner John after splitting from her second husband five years ago and he introduced her to the 'swinging lifestyle'. 

Having only been in traditional monogamous marriages before then, Jackie went from having fears about swinging - to feeling confident and secure enough to go on a 'threesome vacation' with John and another woman called Nora in 2015.

Jackie and John Melfie, both 53, from Texas, enjoy swinging. Jackie has answered all the burning questions and revealed everything about the swingers' lifestyle in an explosive tell-all book

Jackie and John Melfie, both 53, at a swingers event in Texas, receive hundreds of messages from people who are curious about the swinging lifestyle

Jackie and her husband engage in sex with other people (both men and women), go to swingers clubs and even go on threesome holidays

During their threesome holiday to Norway, Jackie and John did everything from sightseeing as a throuple to sharing a bed altogether with Nora.

She says the lifestyle has given her the freedom to explore her sexuality in a non-judgmental environment, and this, in turn, has made her marriage to John even stronger. 

Jackie - who has six children from previous marriages, and seven grandchildren - said: 'My previous marriages were very conservative and John introduced me to a new way of living - one that had made me feel more empowered than ever before.

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'Of course, when we first began opening up our relationship, I definitely went through some moments of fear. Fear that maybe John would like someone more than me, or maybe the woman he was with would be more carefree or better in bed. I did have moments when I broke down and felt unsure.

'But I learned from the experiences and I was able to overcome my old thought patterns and embrace a more loving outlook.

Swingers Jackie and John, both 53, with a woman called Nora, right, a female partner they took on a 'threesome' holiday with to Norway in 2015. During their threesome holiday to Norway, Jackie and John did everything from sightseeing as a throuple to sharing a bed altogether with Nora

The grandmother says the lifestyle has given her the freedom to explore her sexuality in a non-judgmental environment,

Jackie has six children from previous marriages and seven grandchildren. Discussing her previous marriages, she said: 'They were very conservative and John introduced me to a new way of living - one that had made me feel more empowered than ever before'

Jackie has received hundreds of messages from people who were curious about the swinging lifestyle

The grandmother-of-seven has now compiled a selection of the most asked and provocative questions in her new book

The couple, centre, are pictured at a swingers' event in Texas. They regularly attend these events and have even holidayed with another woman

Having only been in traditional monogamous marriages before then, Jackie went from having fears about swinging to feeling confident and secure

She now has enough confidence to go on a 'threesome vacation' with John and another woman

The grandmother-of-seven met current partner John after splitting from her second husband five years ago and he introduced her to the 'swinging lifestyle'

She admits that she felt moments of fear when the pair began their relationship

'I've gone from feelings of jealousy to being able to go on a vacation with John and another woman we previously connected with! It was truly a threesome vacation - we slept in the same bed, dined together, explored cities together and everything else. I came away with a best friend and the knowledge that loving yourself and others comes from making decisions about how you want to live your life.

'Over the last few years, I've received hundreds of questions about swinging and I figured what better way to inform those who are intrigued by the lifestyle than to compile some of the most pertinent and popular questions in a book.'

Through their website, openlove101.com, Jackie has received hundreds of messages from people who were curious about the swinging lifestyle so she decided to pen a book. 

Through her book, Jackie wants to help and inform others who felt the same doubts and worries she initially had about opening up her relationship. 

She has now compiled a selection of the most asked and provocative questions in her new book 'Swingers' Lifestyle: The Questions You Are Afraid To Ask'. Some of the queries she answers include how to navigate an honest, open relationship and how to feel body confident at a swingers party. 

She admits she had fears that John would like someone more than her, or maybe the woman he was with would be more carefree or better in bed

She says she did have moments when she broke down and felt unsure. 'But I learned from the experiences and I was able to overcome my old thought patterns and embrace a more loving outlook,' she added

In her new book, some of the queries she answers include how to navigate an honest, open relationship and how to feel body confident at a swingers' party

Sharing her advice on feeling jealous, she tells her readers: 'Walk and talk your way through your fears and figure out exactly what is bothering you. After that, it's important to communicate those fears to your partner and work through them together'

Jackie admits that when you switch to a swinging lifestyle, you have to retrain your brain and there's a few simple steps to get you to that place

JACKIE'S MOST ASKED-FOR QUESTIONS ABOUT SWINGING 

Q: HOW DO YOU STOP BEING JEALOUS* WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

A: The most common question I receive is how to deal with jealousy and fear when you open up your relationship and how to handle your partner being in bed with someone else. All our lives, we are taught that jealousy is a natural response and that we're supposed to respond to our partner doing anything outside of our relationship with envy. Jealousy therefore becomes an accepted behavior.

When you switch to a swinging lifestyle, you have to retrain your brain and there's a few simple steps to get you to that place. In a nutshell, jealousy is a fear of something - a fear that your partner will like someone more than you/ and leave you for someone else or maybe that the person your partner is with will be better in bed. Walk and talk your way through your fears and figure out exactly what is bothering you. After that, it's important to communicate those fears to your partner and work through them together.

In life, we often allow our fear to dictate how we view the situation instead of testing our fears to see if they're in fact real.

Jackie says the most common question I receive is how to deal with jealousy and fear when you open up your relationship and how to handle your partner being in bed with someone else

Q: DO YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER ALL ABOUT THE OTHER PEOPLE YOU HAVE SEX WITH?

A: ALWAYS share the details of your sexual encounters with your partner. That's part of the inclusion aspect of swinging - even if your husband or wife is not they're physically, include them in your exciting experience by telling them all about it. It brings another aspect to your relationship and strengthens it.

I also love watching my husband with another woman and seeing him enjoying someone else's company - it brings us happiness and closer together.

Q: AM I TOO OLD OR NOT ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH TO JOIN THE SWINGERS LIFESTYLE?

A: The answer to that is NO. It's important to remember that the swinging lifestyle is that swingers are just society. They encompass every walk of life, ever demographic, race and physique. I often receive emails from people who are worried that they are overweight or not attractive enough to swing successfully. But swingers are such a broad range of couples and singles. Sure, you will find people who want that uber-fit guy but there will be plenty of others who are looking for that cute teddy bear physique! Of course, if you're not truly happy with your weight, take a look at yourself and see what you can do.

Q: HOW DO YOU ORGANISE A THREESOME SUCCESSFULLY?

A: Typically we organize a threesome online or at swingers event. When you're setting up a profile online, be completely honest if you want to be successful. Be 100% honest about your weight, height and your interests when compiling your description - and include a wide range of photos. Some of the images we include are sexual in nature. But if you're a single man and your pictures wont include a spouse, don't pose only nude photos unless they're true pieces of art! Most women will want to see who you are...not just your genitalia.

Sharing her tips for embracing the lifestyle, she said: 'Sign up to a social dating site and take a look at the scene or attend a newbie swingers night'

When you find an individual or couple online you might like to play with, have a few conversations online and maybe organize a dinner date. We'll often bring people over to house afterwards but don't feel like you have engage with them sexually on the first date. And don't take it personally if you get rejected at a swingers party or an online date - it's often nothing to do with you. Maybe that couple are just not cut out for it that day or not able to perform.

Q: WHAT IS A SWINGERS PARTY REALLY LIKE?

A: It's not as raucous as you think! It took me a while to go my first adult party, I was convinced it was going to be a den of debauchery. But a swingers club is more respectful that a normal nightclub. There's no sex in the toilets and no manhandling.

Couple and individuals have rules about engaging with others so it's not seedy. But there's a great, sexual atmosphere in the air and a lot of people just come to these parties to watch and soak the ambiance up.

Q: WHAT DO I DO IF I SEE A WORK COLLEAGUE AT A SWINGERS PARTY?

A: Don't ignore them. Just go speak to each other - swingers are discreet and neither of you is going to say anything to others about your chance meeting.

Q: HOW DO I CONVINCE MY WIFE TO GET INVOLVED IN THE SWINGERS LIFESTYLE?

A: If your partner is hesitant about opening up your relationship, then give options. Maybe you can attend a swingers club with each other and just soak up the atmosphere. Sign up to a social dating site and take a look at the scene or attend a newbie swingers night. They can help ease any of your wife's fears. But the truth is you can't convince your partner to get involved if they are dead against it. Swinging is about honesty and being committed to creating the best possible relationship with their partner. 

Through her book, right, Jackie wants to help and inform others who felt the same doubts and worries she initially had about opening up her relationship. She has now compiled a selection of the most asked and provocative questions in her new book 'Swingers' Lifestyle: The Questions You Are Afraid To Ask'

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